Monday, March 10, 2008

my purse: take 2

Seriously, I wouldn't usually post a repeat, but the disbelief I feel when itemizing the guts of my purse is so overwhelming I just need other mamas to come forth to either A) exonerate me, or B) corroborate that I have a disease... Please someone, say something.

3 new packs of Wet Ones
bottle of Tylenol
bottle of Excedrin
bottle for overnights
bottle of Xanax (you can't say you're surprised)
same old wallet
same new wallet
a book (not sayin' which, but I hate Middlesex!)
4 pens
2 new packs of gum
bag of 5 new lip balms (yes, all the same flavor)
2 lb. bag of cashews
ridiculously dyke-ish carabiner full o'keys
B's simple and elegant keys
a mutilated but usable Morningstar Farms coupon
6 bobby pins
30-odd business cards
spare buttons to unknown garment
Ziploc baggie of Kleenex (hard day)
3 Netflix envelopes
Strunk & White's Elements of Style (so I can correct everyone's speech!)

What is wrong with me? (Please form orderly single-file line to answer that. Everyone will get his/her turn.)


Sam said...

doing a little "first in line" dance

It's my theory that whatever the size purse you carry, you will fill it. For a long time I forced myself to carry the tiniest purse I could squeeze my ID and money into. Then I had kids and switched to a duffel bag.

Although, I must say, given I know the size of your purse, that list is impressive! I'm wondering about the 2 lb bag of cashews and two books? Sheesh lady!

You definitely have some kind of affliction. Perhaps the same one we all have. We just don't go telling everyone about it.


ps. Why do the word verifications keep getting longer and more difficult to read? They are starting to piss me off.

Cheyenne said...

yeah b ordered me to carry the cashews today as a preventative measure, and i happened to know from buying them last night that the bag weighed two pounds. as for the books, middlesex is ruining my life, and will not go away. the style guide i grab anytime i anticipate a moment to myself, which is perhaps why i have yet to finish middlesex, lol. starting with the wallets, one of which was yours, i began stacking everything upward, until i had a library ready to topple onto the street.

thank you for verifying that my purse is small-ish and that my incredulity is justified.

oh, this isn't a post? no one told me.

gail said...

i agree with the small purse method mentioned by sam. it is impressive how much you fit into a not-so-big purse. i hate big purses, and really, how much to you have to carry with you at all times? just don't leave out the hand wipes ;)

THE PHONES said...

I only have a diaper bag right now as a purse that I shove my wallet into, lol.

gabrielle said...

the thing is, as a mother, you can never anticipate what's going to happen. you MAY be somewhere that you can drop off the netflix envelopes. you may see a child's running nose and need those kleenex and then some lip balm application.

there's nothing wrong with your purse, my dear. although it MUST weigh a TON with Middlesex in there.

Cheyenne said...

precisely! I may need two pounds of nuts in case i get kidnapped and taken to the zoo, and the padlock will help me in various MacGuyver situations, and of course, that anvil is a must!

thanks for defending me. :)

p.s.- i can burn middlesex for heat.

gabrielle said...

do you dislike 'middlesex' so much? so so sad.

Cheyenne said...

yeah i find it far less than captivating. i'm determined to finish it, but with all the other books/magazines/blogs vying for my attention, i read about ten pages a month, lol.

i guess i never got over the mushroomy smell...