on the eleventh day of christmas, the lucky bird got some early worms

I'm not in it for the presents. Ever. I can never think of what I want, and instead devour my lists for my kids, family and friends like liquid crack. It is no secret that shopping is my narcotic of choice, but I always forget that I am on people's lists as well. And since I never ask for anything, my poor people have to conjure up their own ideas. This year, which has overflowed with joy and peace, rivaling fucking Pleasantville every step of the way, friends and family really rose far and away above the usual, and I just have to say, the thermostat in my heart rose for the first time in a long time.

Now, I have wicked anxiety about receiving and opening gifts. Really bad. Like I can't do it. I am to opening presents what Howie Mandel is to shaking hands. And yet, people seem invested in my receiving more than the package.

Well before christmas, I was lavished with a veritable bounty of the most thoughtful, generous, and downright there-just-are-no-suitable-adjectives gifts, all early enough to grease my wheels for the season.

Here are some faves:

The rainbow musical note necklace from Jennifer. Seriously, I can think of no more meaningful, happy symbol, and she assured me it doesn't mean I'm limited the the Indigo Girls, lol. I am so in love with this:


Next up, I was lured into a really elaborate and sweet scheme and ended up walking away in these heavenly alternative to my much-loved but predictable Danskos. Thank you Debe, you are the best jerk ever:


Just yesterday, after excorcising the christmas out of myself, I got another perfectly-timed "survival kit" from Dyan, and wanted to be all poignant and cry, but instead I laughed my ass off. First of all, she put 2,000 sticky notes explaining everything, such as the would-be-lame stocking, saying, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a goddamned stocking five minutes before christmas? It was either this or a western boot." Ha ha ha. Then a dvd of an actual movie her family made, hand sanitizer to hang of my belt loops--I'm debating the likelihood of using that one, the Bitch word magnets, which are absolutely splendid, these incredible little storage containers that lock that I might just keep like that. She also sent coffee-coloured Sharpies and said if I already had these, she would be truly impressed by my Sharpie affinity. I did not in fact have those but my Sharpie hoarders nest will kick her ass! There was also a really sweet magnet with a quote from a child, and some irreverent gum I will never open because it has Barack Obama's face on it. The gifts were awesome, but it was her card that kinda branded my heart with a white-hot reminder.


Tonight Susannah and Keagan came over and we did a little early switch-a-roo, as Keagan ate his rice. He is so beautiful I would eat him, and so sweet. The kids and I loved watching him open hid presents, using his "chocksticks" and literally hurling his punching bag across the house, knocking over the bowl of (ahem) chocolate sprinkles Reilly was eating as cereal. Shut up I had wrapping fever. This was a happy night:


Keagan helping Mommy open her presents:

And then, the perfect, most whimsical, warm, fantastic gift ever, and I'm still wearing them, from Sock Dreams:


They left me staring down the business end of one hell of a pile of naked presents, and as I went in to assess the situation, I heard a knock at the door. Eventually I asked who it had been, and Reilly said, "Someone brought you dinner for when you're wrapping." Um, yum? Perhaps I won't have to eat Keagan...today:


And of course the early gift I got myself today, but that's another blog. I'm so thankful to have amazing people around, and for all their gestures of affection this season, especially since it's so effing late I'm pretty sure I'll miss real christmas.