right now

I am grateful for:

-Healthy safe children, always. Sigh. :(


-Lists. Duh.

-The technology that enables me to chat not only with Mesina in the UK (though we actually use telephones), but Maha in Egypt. I've known her 15 years and it amazes me that we're chatting about tomorrow's post-Ramadan feast right this minute. Love you amazing lady!

-Red suede ottomans with secret compartments.


-Protein shakes.


-Kids who can set up a You Tube account for me and know everything about everything.

-Carmela's Honey Vanilla and Sweet Almond lip balms, which have saved my tomato-ravaged mouth.


-Tomatoes from the garden. Shhh...I just use extra lip balm.


-Scythes.

-The best friends possible. Actual adults, who don't play games, whose motives are good, whose behaviour is constructive and consistent and doesn't change with the winds of drama, who are neither cruel nor in middle school, who will go along with the waitresses who ask us if we're twins (?) at Olive Garden, who will save me from the corn at night, and from the ridiculous fucking blue corset during the day, who always have Oriental Ramen, who will give me a rainbow 8 card when I turn 32, and who indubitably have my back, and are not talking behind it. Shocker, these people exist.

-Being in a position to help others.

-Seeing Sam jump 795 feet when a b-i-g spider fell out of a shirt at a swap. OMG it was the best! She jumps farther every time I remember it. (Just became 880 feet.)


-My new purse. Thanks to Emily for recommending the Queen Bee website. For any hypothetical catty bitches who care whether or not I'm passing this purchase off as revolutionary, I'm not. I'd never even heard of Queen Bee, and saw some people who had their products and ordered this. I got a wallet too. Yea for having enough room for 75 textbooks.


-Xanax.

-Impending remodels.

-The return of Lost, which I await nervously as it is the last season and there are only a mere 384572348755 questions yet to answer.


-Karma, especially in the form of people who have been nasty bitches getting haircuts that are the spitting image of the hat worn by Cap'n Crunch. (I never said I was Gandhi.)

I'm also amused by people so driven by vanity as to end up shiny, over-plucked wax images of their former selves. (Gotta love the E! Channel!) See? It works both ways, I just sliced my toe open on the cupboard. I'm going to eat some Cap'n Crunch--all Crunch Berries.


-Caddies. Everywhere.



-Jon & Kate Plus Eight, and I will fight you over this.

-Sensodyne toothpaste. It was so hard to give up Tom's but after a new crown began hurting like a bastard, the dentist recommended this and it has worked like magic.


-Pedicures with my kids. (Quinn wasn't available to model.)


-QWERTY keyboards and unlimited text packages, right Sam?



-Long walks in the park with a bad-ass Democrat. I have never been one for nature but damn if health care reform and crackling branches don't soothe the mind a bit.

-The new comforter set I procrastinated about for seven thousand years. Thanks Debe for forcing my ass to stuff all the pieces into those bags and for driving me all around town for what would turn into the most scandalous and effing hilarious return in the history of the world.


-Pre-sale to tickets to David Gray! Yeah, I might die, but I couldn't say no, and what better way to die than to Babylon? At least I have a soul. How many times can one song ruin your fucking life anyway?

-Fun house by P!NK! OMG Raven thank you for that disk! It's almost the antidote to David Gray. Bring the Ram, let's do it! It's not a Delorean but we'll still have to hit 88mph.

-Coming down from the mountains hella fast, around hair pin turns, and being told by a male passenger, whom I was pretty sure was going to stop being my friend, that he has never seen such bad-ass driving and no one handles a Jeep like moi.

-Home schooling, finally. So many activities this year, I turned out to be a soccer mom after all. Minus the soccer, just the driving.

-Never having to embellish the good things in my life for appearances.