mahavelous

Man, you have to call pretty early to wake me up. It helps if you're from Egypt. It just so happens that my dear friend Maha is, and thus, awakened me the other day with an invitation to dine at the Otis Cafe the following afternoon. It's still a little surreal that she comes all the way from Egypt, eager to dine at our mutual favourite restaurant, in a town you can currently buy for like $800 I think.

I met Maha in Newport when we were 17. She was with her American host family and I served them a pizza. She was so lovely, so ambitious, spoke perfect English, and was interested in everything. We exchanged info and have been in touch off and on ever since.

"Yes! Otis Cafe tomorrow!"

She hasn't aged a day:


Not exactly a boon to the ego to pose with her, but ah well:


Maha and her sister Heba, whom I'd not previously met. Such wonderful women:


There is even less seating inside:


Long goodbyes in Otis = climb on your mom's car:


Too bad we couldn't all sit like this on the way home:


Somewhere, over that rainbow...

...just wait and see.

Thank you for the fabulous lunch dear friends, can't wait for to hear your voice again.

i ♥:

Tiramisu.
Eye glitter.
People who understand tonal nuance in text.
Hot hot hot washcloths at 4am, after taking a friend to the ER.
♥ZANE!♥
Urban Outfitters.
Todd's snap peas.
Reserved Redbox movies thankyouverymuch.
Chelsea Handler live!
Bypassing policies. ;)
Manic Cleaning Saturdays.
"Pass-me-downs." --Reilly.
Quinn's legs being exactly as long as mine. (!!!)
Iced tall Americanos in a Venti cup with extra ice and milk.
Hugging my mom.
The best compilation in the world.
Finding Law & Order: SVU marathons at 3am.
"ish"
Fall risks, and painting with them.
New coasters from Whole Foods.
Playing Wiffle ball in Target, knocking down a patio umbrella/getting it on video.
Finally getting into the shower.
Wire caddies.
"Red makes the world happen!"--Dyan.
Khloe.
Unexpected care packages that kick ass.
Quinn dancing. (Boy has skills!)
New tattoos.
"He's right behind you."
Manic Cleaning Saturdays.
Wifi.
Bashing the Pearls on facebook to a group of Texans, being cheered.
Realizing it's okay to say fuck around someone.
Darvocet.
Karma.
Feisty Gail.
Garage sales.
The KROC Center ate my kids.
Giving gifts.
Being vegan.
"I KNOW. !" When it was my blood, not yours!

Haiti Hope:

My new Starbucks Mason-like jars:

My kids' keys. (They've got serious places to go.):

My Gerbera, in the yellow pot Quinn bought me for Mothers Day:

Reilly clipping coupons every weekend:

Ha:


Yayse.
Jerk.
"I has da drugs." --Sumu.
Being the dare queen, making yous laugh, with minimal bone breakage. Taylor's got NOTHING!
SLAB soap with poppy seeds.
My new baby red ottoman for my room.
Reading four books at once.
The Gosselins. Shut it.
Having a high pain threshold.
Friday night dinners with Keagan.
Knowing what I know.
And this:

remembering

fox and hounds and sharks and gnomes

Pool night at the Fox and Hounds is educational. I learned there is absolutely no way to pretend you're good at pool. (I was hoping everyone was drunk.) Lesson #2: Turns out I got skills like that, so instead, Jess and I won. And I mean we killed.

The game is called Cutthroat.

They're a little lot conservative with their prawns, and will touch your cash and then your straw. I mean, a person notices this stuff prior to drinking.

Kyle is so cute I get extra credit for every ball I sank. He's no Maurice, but he is Scott. I'm sorry I keep calling him Justin. KyleKyleKyle...


KyleScottJustin cleaning up the table:


Ya think?


Somewhere in the haze: Jenna, Jess, and KyleScottJustin:


Debe and Jenna talking Mimi, parking, and the best way to get two blocks away:


Hoo.Fucking.Ray. Two blocks away turned out to be VooDoo Donuts, arguably the most hyped and undeserving donut haven anywhere. I realize that it's social suicide to admit that you don't love Elmer's Glue or whatever in your donuts, and the vegans are all doing back flips, but I'm not impressed. I require the sweet/savory experience to be in separate bites. Nyquil? Puh-leeze, omg. This place is basically The Emperor's New Clothes. Or the Segway. Or iPhone cameras for that matter. But Jennifer, this shot's for you:


Luckily there was a plain-ish one, with just a bit of cat litter or something similar to scrape off. Unluckily I left my $6.00 bottle of water behind. While we were saying our goodbyes, and Debe was holding the awkwardly huge box of a dozen let-me-downs, a gnome-looking guy came over as if we'd been waiting for him all night. Fortunately for my memoirs, though it sucked in the moment, he was a really loud close-talker. He gave a schpiel about how he's sure we've had bad experiences with homeless people, which personally, I have not, and that he's sorry for that. He's 63, and has never hurt anyone, and he's just hungry. Now, if we could spare even a dollar, he'd be much obliged, and if not, he'll walk away and won't bother us again. I mean, he was really close.

"So what's it gonna be?" He asked. I felt like he was trying to close a deal.

"Sorry man, all I have is a debit card." I replied.

(Pause for his face to turn bright red, at which point he punched the box of donuts as hard as he could, right in Debe's hands.)

"YOU HAVE A DOZEN DONUTS!"

I gulped for a second, because Debe is my most highly-trained spy, and I thought her Oakland reflexes might kick in. Alas, she was wearing a skirt, and had really good bangs, and was still holding the smashed donut box. So he got away.

Maybe we'll see him next time. (Turns out Todd liked the blueberry ones.) Whatever, as long as Kyle's there.

end of ze world

Forwarded by Quinn:

her derby name is purr-suasion:

Rolling out of the mall on her new skates, into the parking lot, on the phone. Being dangerous runs in our blood.

a ballot in the wrong hand is worth two lost to bush

My cousins Joseph and Jacob are being deployed to Afghanistan. I talked to Jacob last night. I didn't even know he'd enlisted. Ground Infantry. June 1st. Two of four brothers, my favourite cousins, my babies before I had babies. I was always carrying at least three of them, and Todd picked up the slack. I can still see their baby faces. I am sad, and scared. They joined for more money for college. They're both wicked smart. And they'd better stay wicked safe.

Jacob (L) and Joseph (R):


I used to hold him and kiss him to sleep before he was even one, when he called himself "Jofus":


Thanks Bush. Why didn't you send your kids? I'd admonish you to join but you would fail the ASVAB you (@*$*$&%%(*^#.

goodbye old paint

Quinn and Reilly, along with several friends old and new, have been taking an art class since last year, and Sunday all their work went on display at the UU. (Where the classes, though independent, have been held.) My kids were not exactly skipping-to-the-lou to the show, but I made them attend because I spent six hours hanging 7,000 paintings while standing on banquet tables and stretching with all my might, and I will not be denied my pictures.

The display. Cost: Two Darvocet. (You stand on a table hanging twine and tying every picture and making them straight for six hours, lol.)


Pictures from the Tulip Festival:


Reilly, in a little-bit-too-big shirt, eager to get back to the throng:


Quinn, equally jubilant, set to split to Israel's house. His jellyfish and butterfly were amazing, but are too hard to see:


Allegra (Allegra!), Danielle, Reilly, and Sophia, as always:


Victoria:


Todd and the kids. Possibly the last picture we will snap before Todd looks up to our boy. (Note: My kids are one year apart. Isn't that insane?):


This is the best part. I've been looking for a print to go on the oddly-square-shaped wall of our kitchen, to no avail. Then when we brought their art home, I decided to see if they would fit, and voila! This makes me happy:


Great experience. Great show. Great kids. They had to learn to adapt to all manners of alternating media and instructions, such as painting upside-down, or in 20 seconds, or with only two colours or painting only half your sketch. This was a challenge to those with a perfectionist bent, but a really valuable process for sure.

midnight mothers day

My kids know many things. One thing is that I am vehemently opposed to purchasing commercial greeting cards, when avoidable. Especially for kids. Another thing they know is that there is no sense whatsoever in presenting me with a Mothers Day cake when I wake up, when they can bring it to me at 12:01am. They are geniuses.

This was my cake. (The frosting was actually purple, not grey, fyi.):


Suck it Hallmark:


If I had a nickel for every time Reilly gushed such sentiments, I'd have a buck. I love this:


I never thought I'd love anything more than cake, especially since I hate Salad Fingers more than life itself and will never forgive my kids for showing it to me, but I laughed for 30 minutes. I didn't even see the pouch with $5.00 "for coffee" because I was cry-laughing at Quinn's horrible, perfect, thready, agonizing, shaky Salad letters. He mimics this so well I sometimes kiss him and sometimes ground him.


Love you guys the most. Thank you. xoxo

the verdict is in

It was more of a bench trial, as I settled on this 13 years ago, but it is with great pride and excitement that I finally get to announce that we have decided to go with: