Thursday, October 1, 2009
In the midst of our epic company-up-to-here marathon, our washing machine broke yesterday, it's so exciting. I reached in to extract my delicates, which are fussy bitches that demand to be hung with care. They weighed 100 lbs. and were totally sopping wet. I reset the spin cycle and each of 15 times my hope was dashed by the same lifeless wet heap. So I said fuck. A lot. Then we paid our guy to come today and tell us to buy a new set. Then Todd said fuck. Well, translated precisely it's more of a sigh, but it means fuck, trust me.
Can I just say? Much like running out of milk derails every culinary need you could possibly have, having no washing machine essentially relegates a household to something like a third world country. The clothes are still too wet to hang, and now I feel we must all wear only our skivvies until the new set can be fetched, somewhere in between my cleaning job, art classes, Todd's and Quinn's camping trip, and the aforementioned 20+ towels used each day by our beloved guest. I seriously don't want to wear anything, because, in this holocaust of washerlessness, I can only imagine a greater need arising for each and every garment I consider. So I'm rationing, wearing shitty clothes first, and will work my way up so that if Barack Obama calls, there's a better chance of having something.
Gail suggested I go to a laundromat. We are no longer friends.
I also feel like I can't wash dishes or dust or whatever because I don't want to add to the bins, which are rising ominously. And of course I had just stripped all the sheets and prepared to put that machine through the paces before it got the last laugh and croaked, knowing I planned to wash everything in the house before our impossible weekend.
So if you drop by, or shall I say when you drop by, since Todd keeps promising vegetables to everyone and forgetting to tell me, and Sonny likes to invite people over (mind you he's on Maui time, so folks are swinging by at 11pm), please be prepared for semi-nudity because I have basically sealed off the laundry room with crime scene tape and threatened anyone who dares to throw something in.
Oh, well don't cry for me Argentina, Todd just said he's getting the new set tomorrow. Truth be told though, I'll probably be in my underwear anyway.