Thursday, January 22, 2009

tea time

As homeschoolers, trying to merge back into the fast lane after the holiday break is incredibly daunting. As yet, we haven't even made it into the slow lane. Hell, we're pretty much sputtering on the shoulder, hoping for a rescue vehicle. We're back to the basics, just nothing fancy...nor consistent. I ran out of black ink while copying math pages this morning, and even though the drawer with extra cartridges is within reach from where I sit, and contains, I believe, three cartridges currently, I mentally vetoed that possibility in favor of skipping math "because we're out of ink." Instead, we talked about Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, Napolean Dynamite. (Quinn does an impersonation that is as shockingly accurate as it is painfully embarrassing, and he really wants to show Karen.) Rei had a sore throat yesterday and was house-bound, a fate worse than death for her, just like her mama. So today we were itching to get out, and as we checked various errands off our list, we kept debating as to whether or not to go to Starbucks. I didn't want Rei having a caramel frappucino the day after a sore throat, Quinn hadn't eaten anything, because my kids never eat, so it didn't seem right to indulge his love of chai lattes, and I have pretty much given up coffee, and if I do have one, I have a panic attack the size of Texas every time. So you know we went. Our server was Scott, who is cute enough to charm a girl who isn't into boys, but Republican enough that he is lucky I didn't kill him with my bare hands the day (six months ago) we got into a vicious debate about the relevancy of the election. Yeah, I attempted to hand him an Obama sticker, which was presumptuous and probably unprofessional. But shit, I wasn't the one in uniform so I can do whatever I want. He wouldn't take it, and there was something about his little faux-hawk and smirk and Abercrombie-ness that clued me in to the root of his wrongness. I said, "Oh, let me guess, The Bible? Specifically, Revelation? It's all pointless?" He gave me a look that suggested he briefly thought he had found an ally, only to rediscover that I was actually trouncing him in the argument. I had the last word and sped off, such a great feeling, I highly recommend it, and then avoided that Starbucks like the plague for weeks, making Todd go in my stead. Eventually I lost a bunch of weight, changed my hair, put on some sunglasses, and realized I am not the center of his world, and started going again.

Back to today: We pulled forward, and Scott was hanging out on the ledge, as though he had been awaiting our visit all day. His hair was especially (faux-ish? hawkish?) cute. He was all smiles, completely oblivious to how close I came to gutting his gorgeous little face with my fingers not so long ago. He asked what we were up to, why I had the kids with me. I said we're homeschoolers, out on errands, needing a pick-me-up. He beamed and said he had been homeschooled too, until third grade. When I inquired as to his transition into public school, he rather comfortably said that he just walked in and owned the place, instantly. He said, "Yeah on my first day I just said 'here I am,' and I was on top from that moment on. I'm in college now and I still am. I mean, I played football, wasn't shy..." I interjected, "Don't forget how handsome you are!" In a playful way though. But god. Some gorgeous young Bible-toting, election-hating, Revelation-citing, barista with rad hair and a face that won't quit? Ugh. What a waste of good genes. What does this have to do with homeschooling though? I have no idea.

We got our treats, and a free blended chai-thing that was made in error, and got to breathe the sunshine air. Surely with all the caffeine surging through our veins, someone will have the strength to open the drawer with the ink cartridges...


Anonymous said...

really? all that was just THREE paragraphs? good're on speed or something.

I wish they wouldn't try to make small talk with me. I'm here to get my coffee, don't ask me what I'm doing with my day or I'm liable to tell you something that will make you shake and sweat with embarrassment.

Just give me my fucking latte and FAST.

B Kinch said...

I find that kid exceeeeeeedinly annoying and i guess he's just not my type lol. But yeah. Good to know that years of careful instruction by loving parents, plus the expense of college has him slinging lattes.
The word verification for this comment is nonsfult. I feel like this means either something is not your fault, or it means like an insult that is no really an insult.

gail said...

i try not to get annoyed when the employee on duty is set on making conversation with me through the intercom instead of working on my order, or set on chatting through the open window while we wait for my order, but it's hard sometimes when i just really want my tea. at least you got a good story out of it.