PFC Joseph Wilhelm

Afghanistan, APOAE (R):


This baby face does not belong there, doing this. None of them belongs there.


Be grateful for who and what you have this christmas.

wespeak

co-pursing (inadvisable)

car-pursing (run)

nutwhacking (not fair to nuts nor bathtubs, hopefully outgrown by age eight)

cami-whore (if i live to be 100 i will never wear all these camis. fuck you old navy. god they're amazing though.)

nevergettacuddle (gimmeeyou)

ihasbraindeath (it's not my fault)

there are these things called africa (three hours of yo gabba gabba when you're 32)

bitchface (self. explan. a. tory.)

that's fat (when there's a dish of butter on your bed, along with dinner.)

my vagina's not a clown car (discussing the duggars)

but what are we gonna do about sugar? (all roads lead to dessert. see that's fat.)

hell of (all-purpose unit of measurement, strictly in dialogue.)

too active (when any sound, smell, question, or situation feels fatal.)

grandeicedamericanoinaventicuplighticewiththerestoftheroomcream,andanicedsoycarmelmacchiatoinaventicupwiththerestoftheroomsoywithextracarmel repeat 13 times (how to kill a starbucks barista)

rugburn (that which offends your senses. an outfit, a name, a comforter, an idea...)

"what?" (the most brilliant response to saying or doing ANYTHING and getting away with it.)

but i am le tired (so have a nap then fire ze missiles.)

salad (any voice, gesture, or presentation that is weak, thready, and/or uncomfortable in an irresistible way.)