i love me some lefties!

One of my myriad inexplicable fascinations/obsessions is left handed people. I am so helplessly in awe of seeing people whose dominance comes from the left, that even now I will stare while the person in front of me in Fred Meyer writes a check with his or her left hand.

I am ambidextrous in almost every way. I write perfectly well with my left hand, but can do so faster with my right, so my need for speed dictates there. However, should I ever find myself accused of stealing (who me?) in a foreign country wherein the punishment is to sever the offending hand, I'd be fine. I can bat left, dribble left, kick with either, and am a switch-hitter in tennis. If I'm going to arm wrestle you, it will be with my left arm because it's stronger. I do struggle to apply nail polish with my left hand, as it seems to lack precision and steadiness, though it's great for painting and cleaning. And, now that the cat is out of the bag and running down the street, I hold cloves with my left hand. Of the 10,000 relatives about whom I recently wrote, not one had the decency to be left handed. While my own dexterity is of no interest to me, several people to whom I am drawn, make that extremely drawn, are left handed.

High profile lefties who matter to me:

Caroline Kennedy:


Slightly embarrassing crush, David Letterman:


Paul Simon, whose lyrics have been the soundtrack of my life:


Surprises from left field:

Angelina Jolie (Please don't have an orgasm while reading my blog okay? She ain't all that, except, now that I know she's left-handed, she kind of is...):



Controversial lefty, Tom Cruise:



Possible righty Tom Cruise (hence the controversy):


I struggle between crushing on Tom and despising him. He's short, the alignment of his teeth gives him the appearance of having one in the middle, which is extremely disconcerting, he's hella short, and um, just a little bit fucking crazier than a shit house rat. But damn, he's beautiful, and he really was dangling from that canyon in Moab in Mission Impossible 2. I've read dozens of articles claiming he is a lefty, but all the pictures of Tom holding a pen suggest otherwise. Perhaps he leads with his left and loves with his right?

I am so pleased to announce that I have exactly five favourite lefties:

#5. Bill Clinton, who signed an autograph with his left hand for me in 1992:


#4. Prince William of Wales, entering Eton. Thankfully he's finally old enough to crush on legally:


It is excrutiating to assemble the final three, and while I love this woman to no end, I have never met her, and thus, am awarding her the bronze medal in the Objects of my Lefty Obsession countdown. Behold Emma Thompson (Academy Award winning screenplay writer for Sense & Sensibility, the undisputed best film of all time.):


#2. Karen, my twin in so many ways (can't you see it?):


Drum roll.........My number one Lefty Love? As if you had to scroll down:

#1.
Admittedly, it helped seal the deal when he hugged me and squeezed me with his left hand last year, right before whispering into my left ear. (It is taking all my might not to lift the ban on orgasms while reading my blog...)