Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Weighing in at 18 lbs., I emptied my purse, or as Reilly calls it, my "luggage" today in hopes of finding some things I could remove. I was taken aback by its contents:

-Purse on right, large enough to carry a pony, too small for these items, apparently.
-Full-sized binder, full of papers, mail, documents, receipts, lists, etc.
-Adhesive weekly lists I can never leave on the refrigerator.
-Adhesive daily lists, same deal.
-White binder/lifeline, it own universe in and of itself.
-The most amazing Valentine card ever from Reilly.
-The BEST red mesh pencil pouch, currently inhabiting 50 assorted Sharpies.
-Medication sorter, because you know, I'm extremely dangerous.
-Huge magnet I received as a gift and keep forgetting to take out.
-Not one, not two, but three pairs of glasses.
-My old phone, which has a LOT of interesting texts.
-Two packs of gum.
-A headband, which I can never find, until I'm scrambling for anything else.
-Container of Tylenol.
-Container of Excedrin.
-My wallet, another separate world altogether.
-Two identical books.
-Two packs of Mentos from Reilly.
-One pack of "Just Strawberries."
-Hair claw that is always at the surface irritating me until I need it.
-One roll of Scotch tape. (???)
-Two packs of Wet Wipes.
-Two identical packs of unopened rainbow Sharpies. Why? Duh, they're Sharpies.
-One pack retractable Sharpies. See reason above.
-Skull scarf.
-Two multi-coloured flashlights that are also whistles, for my kids.
-iPod ear phones, one of three tangled sets.
Not pictured:
-iPod. It was in the side pocket and forgotten.
-Two hairbands, three rubberbands, and eight safety pins.

There's more. How does one amass this much lip balm? Some of these must go:

I think I got it down to 17.10 lbs., but I must confess to carrying an annex tote for textbooks and a clipboard.

It's pretty sad when you can't find a freaking binder in your purse.


Susannah said...

hey, i remember those sharpies :) seriously though lady, that is one heavy purse! i think rei called it right with the "luggage".

Debe said...

I see you have my naked Burt's Bees, you unsafe heathen. Also, that's a lot of shit, yo. Where's your umbrella, Mary?

outdoor.mom said...

step away from the wipes.... yes you! put your hands in the air and step away slowly.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Honestly, I am impressed by the lack of trash, unless you hid it so you didn't look like a slob. My purse is mostly full of old receipts, napkins and the occasional fork or spoon. A woman has to do what a woman has to do. At least yours is clean.

Cheyenne said...

Dana--Nope, no trash. Did you know I have OCD, like, pretty bad? Like, well suffice it to say, you will find virtually no errant trash anywhere in my life. I have places for most things, I just have so many things, you know? I mean, just since this pic, I have added a mini hair straightener, more pens, OxiClean spray, these awesome new cylinders of gum, roughly the size of a pillar. No matter how many goshdamn loops and carabiners I add to my key chain I add to my keys, I can NEVER, and I mean NEVER find them. I'm frustrated just thinking about it. I look at my old purses and wonder how I ever survived. I'm coming up to look at your purse!